My Devil is a Weirdo
by reality deviant
Summary: Hachiman voices a wish for something Genuine... and guess who gets summoned as the devil to grant this! And if that's not enough, this strange, too genuine guy now seeks to help to gloomy Hachiman, by introducing him to the wonders of Oppai, and getting him a girlfriend!
1. Chapter 1

walking back home, Hikigaya saw the flyer on the bus station bench. It was the strange large pentagram that drew his attention to it.

As he came closer , he picked it up, inspecting the occult like symbol, and took in the words written.

"Your wishes will come true…"

 _Hah! As if there are really such wish granting mechanisms…I do wonder what's the scam about this time.'_

"Could this do anything, really, about any of the requests we made, Yuigahama's, Yukino's mine…

A wish for something genuine…"

He closed his eyes and sighed.

It felt like he missed something.

When he opened them, he saw a person there who wasn't before. _'Strange that I didn't notice him. I must've been deeper in thought then suspected.'_

AS the stranger was saying something, smiling, Hikkigaya to in his appearance.

Average height with short brown hair and light brown eyes. He was wearing what looked like the boys uniform of a prestigious school. One that Hachiman was unfamiliar with.

The other boy looked so happy with his life, in that fancy uniform, with that handsome face and carefree smile, Hachiman couldn't help but feel displeased. _'Riajuu like you should just explode.'_

The other by seemed to notice that he was ignored, and stopped smiling.

"Hey, are you okay?"

"Do I know you?"

"I just introduced myself-Im Hyuudo Issei, The Devil that came to fulfill your wish!"

"Devil? Wish?"

"That's right-the flyer in your hand, I'm here to see about granting your wish, and the payment for it."

"I don't do Chuunibyo."

The other boy looked at him strangely, then nodded and came closer. Talking in a quieter tone.

"I get, man, I didn't believe all this either at first, but here, I'll prove it!" with those words, the boy turned to look at the sides.

Hachiman did likewise, confirming the two were alone on the bus station, in the snow.

"Okay, ready? I'll show it"

"No! No need. I believe you!" Hikkigaya hurried to say. Somehow that phrase seemed like something Ebina would have had a field day with. He didn't any strange boys 'showing him anything either! Totsuka didn't count!

The other boy ignored his words, to Hachiman's dawning horror,put his hands on his waist, and...

Sprouted wings.

Hachiman blinked to make sure he saw it right.

 _'Yep, still there. Dark batlike wings.'_

Hikkigaya outstretched his hand to touch them, wanting to make sure it was real, only for them to disappear, as the guy angrily told him.

"Hey! No pawing another guy's stuff. It's sensitive!"

He couldn't help it, Hachiman closed his eyes, and said a prayer to god as thanks that Ebina wasn't there. Only to get a yelp.

Opening his eyes, he saw this Hyuudo holding his head and grimacing.

"Don't prey near me, you bastard, it hurts."

"Hn."

"So what's your wish anyway? And don't worry, they tell me we don't bargain with souls or anything like that."

"I wanted something Genuine in my life…"

"Genuine, huh… that's a strange one, I myself want a Harem!"

Hikkigaya wasn't sure what surprised him more-the nature of wishing for a harem, or the absurd ease and openness that guy said it. With not an ounce of shame.

"… still, that's a tough one… I think I have to talk with my King, hopefully she will have an advice!"

 _'King? She? Are gender pronouns different in hell or am I missing something?'_

The boy smiled and with a light punch to his shoulder, which turned out to be stronger then both expected, and actually bruise Hikkigaya, said he will be back, smiling…

"Hey, where are we, anyway?"

"Chiba."

"Oh. I don't know how to get home from here. Do you know if any buses-"

Whatever he knew or not about any buses would remain a mystery, as a pentagram appeared on the ground below the boy, and in a flash of light Hyuudo disappeared.

* * *

 **Author Notes:** This was done as a snippet to show a crossover idea I had, on SB. I find DxD to be a very fun and funny fandom, and Oreigaru is a good contrast to it... in pretty much everything.

Expect more at some uncertain point.


	2. Chapter 2

_'What a strange dream I had last night'._ A riaju devil, who was only a kid from some other school, just with devil wings, coming to grant his wish for a female king…

Hachiman shook his head. Now was time for school, or at least something practical-like the light novel book in his pocket.

The class arrived, as usual, and everyone greeted each other, as usual. And none approached him, as usual.

At least he had yet to hear gossip about him being seen with Yukino and Yuigahama yesterday. They would assume he was blackmailing them to go with him or something like that…

It was business as usual.

At least until the free period.

When he was just about to stand up to leave for his secluded spot to eat, a voice , one that tinged at some string of familiarity, was heard.

"And he has a gloomy look, like a fish or something."

"What would you even want with Hikitani-kun?"

"Well, I came to help him! He seemed so gloomy and sad last time we spoke, and I promised to help him. I'll get rid of his gloomy looking eyes!"

 _'It's not gloomy and sad, I just see the truth of people better, in all it's rotten glory-this is one of my 108 special skills.'_

"That's, like, impossible! He always had them!"

"I'm Hayama Hayato, and you are? This looks like the uniform from another school."

 _'And another falls for the fake charm.'_

Hyuudo stared at the polite, soft spoken and ever popular boy, before doing something Hikkigaya Hachiman never seen others do before-rudely turned the friendly greeting.

"I don't want to talk with you, Prettyboy-you are the worst! An enemy to all men!"

 _'T-that's new!'_ Hachman was stunned, no, he was beyond stunned-did he find another soul capable of sensing the fake within and repulsed by it?

"What?! How dare you! Apologize at once!" Miura defended and then attacked-with her terrible glare.

"Erk", Hyuudo flinched away from it. _'Hold strong, Hyuudo, don't let that horrible attack dissuade you from the righteous truth! Hayama is fake!'_

"What do you mean enemy of men? Hayato is best bro!" Tobe commented, giving the newcomer a more manageable target.

 _'Tell them, tell them just how fake their popular beloved is!'_

"All the girls go for the pretty boy, leaving nothing for us mere mortal men! How can you stand when they fight with each other to get a date with him, but only offer rude, ridiculing refusals when you yourself ask them out…"

 _'that's… not what I was expecting…'_

"…When they look at you with disgusted eyes, because you will never compare to the damned prettyboy, break your heart with the constant insults. Think you worth less then dirt, compared to him… Always compare you saying that he would be better, would do things other way…"

 _'That's, oddly specific...'_

"-And then, just to make it even worse, there is always, always, someone in the crowd… some girl that will start suggesting BL things between you and that Thrice accursed Damn Handsome!"

 _'Am I not alone There really is someone else who understand the pain of Ebina!'_

"Tell me you got a girlfriend, despite being in the same class with the Prettyboy, tell me that some girl will cheer on you and not him in a me the girls are not all fixated on him."

Tobe remained silent, growing a bit more unsettled with each accusation.

Hayama lost his friendly smile, though it appreaed to be more from shock, then anything else.

Miura was speechless, tough Hachiman didn't know if it was by the weight of the accusations, the truth in it, or the fact that someone just now dared to ignore her, and talk down to the Idol Hayato in such a fashion.

'Y-yahallo, I am Yuigahama, Yui…" Yuigahama tried to difuse the tensing atmosphere, smiling fakely and cheefullt greeting the outsider. "Could you please introduce yourself?"

"Oh, Hyuudo Issei", the boy from the strange dream bowed politely, muttering 'I'll be in your care', before continuing. "I'm from Kuoh Academy, in Kuoh town. I asked to get out early today so I won't miss your free period. It's not over yet, is it?"

"No, it's just started."

"Oh, that's a relief. Is Gloomy eyes still in class?"

"Yes, he is right there." She pointed towards him. _'Drat, my special skill, to be unnoticed-born of being ignored for years –Yuigahama seemed to have built an immunity to it!'_

His attempt to quietly stand up and leave was foiled, as the boy from the dream came straight to him, seemingly immune to the deathglares most of the female population of the class was sending his way, as he cheerfully punched him in the shoulder with a smile.

What seemed like a friendly, light tap, ended up hurting. Hikkigaya was sure it will leave a bruise.

"There you are, Hikitani-san, Sorry I disappeared on you abruptly yesterday, but I got called away."

Disappeared was a good way to describe it-since it was literally what happened. Hachiman had the urge to sigh troublesome, but he wasn't a certain Imagine Breaker.

Resigned to the company, Hikkigaya bought food from the vending machine, and went to his secluded spot.

"So that's your usual spot? Not what I was hoping for, but I guess I had to work with less…" Hyuudo said after Hachiman set and started eating, determined to wait with his questions, and pretend it was all just a strange, pleasant dream for a bit longer.

"hey, say something hikitani-san."

"My name is Hikigaya Hachiman."

"Oh…oh… awkward." For seemingly awkward mistake Hyuudo seemed to bounce back fast. "  
I was serious about helping you with that gloomy look, and I know just the cure for it!"

"You do, I was under the impression it would require a miracle, are you a holy priest, or a saint, perhaps?" calm voice called. ' _Ah, Yukinoshita, I can always rely on you to keep things the same with that sharp barbed tongue, no matter how strange my day turns.'_

He did notice the self-proclaimed Devil _flinched_ at the comparison to saint and holy priest.

"What are you doing here Yukinoshita?"

"Yuigahama Informed me a friend from another school came to visit you on the free period. I just had to see for myself-I never believed you had friends."

"Just as expected from a mean flat chested girl-saying such mean things."

Hachiman braced himself for the explosion to come. _'Sorry, Hyuudo, but you brought this on yourself. Besides should devils be used to hell!?'_

Flat-chested?!" Yukinoshita repeated in outrage, crossing her hands over her modest chest defensively. "W-what does THAT has anything to do-"

"EVERYTHING."Hyuudo called. He didn't shout or yell, but his voice was loud, clear and final. His face showed no longer the usual carefree smile, but a serious expression.

"Don't you see the deep sadness behind those dead fish eyes? Don't you realize the reason?"

 _'Could..could that be it-a soul that actually understood him –something really genuine?'_

"It is the distinctive lack of Oppai in his life?"

Hachiman felt like falling face first, anime style. All he showed outwardly though, was a single flat word. "Oppai."

"Yess! That's right. I notice d the distinctive lack of peeping spots on the way here. Oppai are the meaning of life-the funbags called such for a very good reason-they are filled with the hopes and dreams of men! With unbelievable softness that can calm the most unstable of hearts. Big, round, soft oppai are what makes to world go round-and they are certain to lift your mood ,and lift those clouds from your spirit.

There is nothing more Genuine, more honest, more true, then Oppai. This is why this girl here is so mean, she has no Oppai-no happiness!"


	3. Chapter 3

"Oppai are the meaning of life, the funbags called such for a very good reason-they are filled with the hopes and dreams of men! With unbelievable softness that can calm the most unstable of hearts. Big, round, soft Oppai are what makes to world go round, and they are certain to lift your mood, and lift those clouds from your spirits.

"There is nothing more Genuine, more honest, more true, than Oppai. This is why this girl here is so mean, she has no Oppai-no happiness!"

Yukinoshita looked like a fish-gaping at the boy, at the audacity she no doubt never encountered before. And then tried to respond with a thousand witty retorts, but couldn't pick the one to go with, or so it looked to Hachiman.

Unable to bore a hole in the reason for her ire, who seemed immune to her glare and utterly unapologetic, just as predators do in nature the 'yukinoshitakus SharpTongue' turned her attention away from the Devil before it and to a more reasonable choice of prey-namely him.

"Hikkigaya-kun, what is this sexual offender doing here? Are you so starved for company that you fell as low as to encourage such scum as delinquents, chauvinists, rapists and the people who peep at girls' bathroom?"

 _'Somehow, one of those doesn't seem to belong…'_ Hikkigaya tought, wilting under the intens Glare.

"Hey! I didn't peek at anyone in this school yet! Give me some credit!"

 _'This is what you took from that?'_ the deadeyed boy thought, incredulous.

"Yet…" Yukinoshita responded flatly, as if it made her point. "I find my fears for my chastity growing."

"Who would want a flat chasted shrew anyway- you never had anything to worry about, or anything worth worrying about."

Hyuudo then turned to Hachiman himself, and made a surprised expression for some reason.

"You better not fall for her, Hikkigaya, don't fall for her ojou-sama like looks and behavior! Nothing good will ever come from it!"

 _'What?'_

"What?" Yukinoshita seemed to mirror his thought.

Hyuudo just continued in his serious tone, saying more ad more shameless things.

"Take this one instead!" he pointed at Yuigahama, and then his gaze dropped to her 'Yuigahamas'. "She is nice, cute, soft spoken and considerate, and has a good big Oppai. With her, you will be happier, just look at these Oppai, imagine how soft they would feel to the touch, how well they would fit the pam of your hand. With a girl like that, the gloom in your eyes and heart will go away, replaced by a sunshine and softness!"

Hachiman was…speechless. For the first time, since… since he remembered, he had no comeback. He had no words to say.

A glance at Yuigahama, to see if she was as flabbergast as him, brought a worrying revelation.

Her head was bowed, she was looking at her 'gahamas' and deep in thought. Surprisingly deep.

 _'Did… did she buy all that nonsense? I know Yuigahama is not the smartest person, but still… And why am I feeling so hopefull?'_

As he thought that, and glanced down on his hands, one of them made squeezing motion, unvoluntarily, as if betraying an eldritch desire for boob.

Hachiman fast turned to look at the three with him, searching for signs that they noticed, hoping that the didn't.

Yuigahama twitched. She seemed to rise her head, but avoided looking him in the eye.

Yukinoshita was still looking at Hyuudo strangely. "Just, just who are you?"

"I…" he started answering with a smile and pride, "Am Hyuudo Issei, Student of Kuoh Academy, an unrepentant pervert, and Future Harem King!"

 _'And he actually says it with loudly, with such confidence.'_

"Have you no shame, spouting openly about oppai and harems? Go back to your 2D, or whatever it is you otaku do in lieu of human contact and socialization-I knew that people like you don't know anything about real society, but this is too much!"

"Hey, don't go dissing 2D-they are wonderful and genuine, and generous with their Oppai." The boy from Kuoh angrily called, his voice getting louder.

"Genuine, are they? Well, let's ask our expert on all things genuine-what do you say, Hikkigaya-kun?" her eyes promised horrible death should he do anything BUT support her wholeheartedly.

 _'What can I say? I can't speak against you-you will remember it later, and besides, 2D is fiction. But on the other hand, I read light novels a lot, so… But I don't want to end an old man with anime and manga as my only source of companionship, like a certain teache-'_

Next thing he knew, his stomach was rebelling in pain.

He groaned, and stumbled, only a strong grip from behind keeping him from falling.

"What have I told you about my age?"

"Hiratsuka Sensei!" the two girls with him called in stereo. He tried to call too, in protest more than surprise, but was too busy trying to stand.

She paid them no mind, with her revange finished, zooming in on the kid not belonging to the school instead. "And what are you doing here? This is not Kuoh-you don't belong here!"

The boy did not answer, staring at her busty chest instead, smiling creepily.

All three women seemed to stare dumbfounded at this behavior.

 _'Fly, you fool!'_

And then Hiratsuka-sensei threw one of her punches towards the foreign student. Hikkigaya cringed.

 _'Too late, alas poor Hyuudo, we knew him not.'_

Only for the boy to actually move at the last moment, and successfully block it! like a move straight from an action film.

The teacher frowned and asked again, uncharacteristically serious.

"Who are you?"

"I already told you, I'm Hyuudo Issei." Then the boy frowned himself, and after a moment seemed to brighten again. "Ah, I'm a dev-"

"Yukinoshita, please escort Hikkigaya and Yuigahama back to class, and return to your own, the period will end soon. I need to talk with Hyuudo-kun here, and help him get back to his own school in time."

Something in her tone brooked no arguments… and put Hachiman on edge.

 _'This, just what is happening?'_

He was thinking about it, and before he knew, found himself about to enter his class, Yuigahama beside him, stealing strange looks, and Yukinoshita behind him, looking extremely unsettled.


	4. Chapter 4

The next lesson seemed slower than usual, as the teacher droned on yet another subject that Hikkigaya Hachiman was sure would only prove useless in his future as either a house husband (should he succeed in his goal), or corporate wage slave (should he not).

'Reading Light novels would have been more productive-I've more of a chance to go to a magical fantasy world then actually use any of what the sensei is boring the class with in real life. It seems to be all the rage now in the novels- modern guy gets transported to medieval fantasy…

Does that make Zaimokuza more suited to teach us then the current teacher?! The world only gets stranger. And so do my thoughts.

It seems Hyuudo left an effect of confusion that lingers even in his absence. I wonder what happened to him, though. '

As the lesson finished and the next one began, such thoughts went to the back of his mind-he needed to concentrate on studying.

The lessons seemed slower than usual, as time seemed to crawl towards the end.

Hiratsuka-sensei made no mention of Hyuudo-san nor the incident with him, when she directed him to the Club room.

Both Yukinoshita and Yuigahama were there already, as usual.

They even greeted him their usual ways-with a cheery 'yahallo' and a sharp verbal barb.

Through the entire day, no one mentioned the strange boy from Kuoh.

No one even showed any signs that hinted at the bombastic speech the pervert gave to the boys in class, or the one given to the three members of this club.

Hachiman turned to look at the girls again.

His gaze caught that of Yuigahama briefly, before she averted her eyes as her cheeks reddened a bit from embarrassment.

As he looked away and towards Yukinoshita, she glared at him, and hugged herself.

Turning away, feeling embarrassed himself, Hachiman withdrew a little book from his schoolbag, and proceed to spend the time until a request came to their club reading, as he often did. Hoping to pretend the minor embarrassment will be overlooked and ignored by all three of them.

He therefore did not see the slight blush appearing on the usually reserved girl, nor did he notice that when she hugged herself so that her arms covered her chest.

The day passed with no requests for the Service Club.

For some reason the boy had the feeling that someone was watching him throughout most of it. Ignoring it, he continued to read his novel. There were only two others in the room.

Slowly, time passed and they all began to leave for home.

Hikkigaya was at the gates of the school, and just about to say goodbye to his club mates, when suddenly Yuigahama Yui called out to him.

"Yes?"

She did not make eye contact, and just seemed to stand there for some time, her cheeks slowly reddening.

"I… I mean… Goodbye Hikki!" and with those words she flailed, her 'Yuiyui' bouncing, before hurriedly walking towards her own home.

* * *

"Did something happen today?"

"..."

The little brat sitting in front of him interrupted his dinner again.

"-kino? Oni-chan! Are you even listening to me?"

"As a devoted brother, I always pay attention to what my little sister is saying. And get lots of big brother points, just like I did right now." He replied in a bored tone.

"And what did I just say?" his cute little sister asked, crossing her arms and pouting adorably.

"That Komachi loves and adores her cool big brother!" he smirked.

The pouting cuteness intensified with a cry of "Oniiiiiiiiiiii-chaaan!" as his little sister Komachi frowned.

"Why are you so distracted? What are you thinking about?"

"There was a strange guy that came to our school today… "

"Oni-chan, you are in high school, all guys are strange there."

Hachiman gave his brat of a sister a look.

"This one took the cake."

"What did he look like?"

"Like a punk. he was out of town highschooler about my age. Said he came here for me."

"Did Big Brother piss off some out of town delinquents when Komachi wasn't there to protect him?" she asked, and for all that the tone was joking and a bit mocking, he saw the concern in her eyes and felt bad for worrying her needlessly.

"No. He said he came here to help me, I also met him yesterday at a bus station.

"Maybe Big brother did something wrong and didn't realize it?" suddenly her face lit in impish delight, and she did the cute prominent fang smirk. "Maybe he liked what he saw and came back for more? Do Yui-san and Yukino-san have new competition now?"

The boy wrinkled his nose in distaste.

"Now you are being ridiculous. Where did you even learn such things? Did you talk with any glasses wearing girls from my class recently? Cute little Komachi-chan should stay innocent adorable little sister forever, not get exposed with such disgusting ideas. Also more Onii-chan points."

The girl suddenly leaned forward, and with interest shining in her eyes cheerfully continued, leaving that particular idea for now, and mentally cataloguing the reaction of her brother.

"Just give me the play-by-play of everything that happened."

Hachiman thought about all that happened with that Hyuudo, and shook his head. He did NOT want the pervert anywhere near his beloved cute little sister.

* * *

 **Author Notes:** Sorry for the delay. i had, and still have RL things to deal with which leave little time for writing. Thanks to all who Favorited, followed and reviewed so far.

Also Special Thanks to dawnwatch-my new beta for this fic, thanks to whom its quality improved.


	5. Chapter 5

The Melancholy of Hachiman Hikkigaya continued into the next day as well. While he had no reality warper to worry about, he felt no less cynical.

The strange visitor from the day before had not made a repeat appearance.

And while it seemed a routine day, as if a Legendary Pervert had not grace their school yesterday, _'or was it defiled? I'm really not sure'_ , it felt, for some reason…'off'.

For starters, Hikkigaya had the strange feeling of being watched, again.

Midway into the second lesson of the day, his glances in his so far unsuccessful attempt to identify who was focusing on him, and one of his '108 skills' developed from being a loner and as far as socially possible from being a focus of attention, he thought he saw Tobe looking at Hayama with a pondering gaze.

There were no large card-boxes around either-he checked.

The loner felt that he had no choice but use another of his vaunted 108 skills- 'Stealth Hikki'.

* * *

During lunch he did just that, as he went to his usual spot. _'Just as I thought-activating Stealth Hikki hid me from my stalker. No stalking can compare to the invisibility of one who has been a social pariah for as long as I have!'_

Unfortunately, a flaw was appearing in his brilliant plan. And said flaw was approaching fast, coming directly towards him.

"Yahallo Hikki!"

 _'unfortunately no plan is ever idiot proof. Such misfortune!'_

Yuigahama was bouncing, literally bouncing, towards him. Her bouncing 'Yuigahamas' waving greeting as well as her hand.

 _'Is that just me, or are they bouncier then usual? Don't tell me she actually forgot her bra? I know you are a bit air-headed, but this seems too much! Please be considerate of all the boys you make feel awkward, the girls you make feel inadequate.'_

Outwardly, though, Hachiman only nodded a greeting, showing none of his thoughts.

Once the girl got close, she crossed her hands just below her chest, and pressing them together, said.

"D-did you notice anything strange, today?"

 _'Do you mean that when you cross your arms like that, it tightens the clothes around your chest, making it more noticeable, as well as making it seem bigger? That you all but shoved your 'gahamas' into my field of vision? Even I, as ignorant of social propriety as i am, know better then say it-i'm not the boy dragged through a portal to another world to become a familiar for a shot pink-haired tsundere girl of a mage.'_

"Strange like what?" He asked instead.

"Oh, I don't know…" She said lightly, bouncing in place a bit, before turning to look at him expectantly.

 _'You are a bit more airheaded then usual today. I may have gained a stalker. Nothing else.'_

"No."

"Oh…" she sighed, disappointed, and left. There was no bounce in her steps this time.

At least he seemed to have lost his stalker-he didn't feel himself being watched again for the duration of the school day. And he got his precious quiet again.

Still, something at the back of his head nagged at his thoughts. For some reason, Hachiman found himself unable to just forget about the outrageous boy and his declaration the previous day.

Those thoughts kept distracting him, now that the stalker wasn't.

* * *

When the school ended, Yuigahama asked him not to wait for her, and go straight to the club, saying she will come in a bit. Shrugging, Hikkigaya hachiman did as she said.

But when he saw Yukinoshita was sitting there alone, he found he had to ask the question that has been bothering him since the first lesson.

 _'I suppose its as good a moment as any-'_

"Yahallo, Yukinon!"

"Yuigah-Yuigahama!"

Turning to see what had the usually unflapable Yukinoshita exclaiming like that, Hachiman had to stare. And then blink and stare a bit more. Then avert his gaze, as he felt the tips of his ears redden.

Yuigahama Yui was still seemingly missing her bra-and now he knew for fact that she wasn't wearing it, but she also seemed to be wearing a shirt a few sizes too small.

He actually could see in that brief glance a moment ago where her nipples were.

And he was sure she was looking at him now.

 _'I'm very sorry Yuigahama, I shouldn't have stared like that. If I have ruined you for marriage I will take responsibility and find you a husband myself.'_

Hachiman wanted to voice his apologies, mortified at having caught his friend at such an embarrassing moment. At having seemingly committed something that the pervert, Hyuudo was probably boasting about. But he just couldn't voice any apology. It was so awkward he couldn't say anything.

"Did your shirt suddenly shrink?" Yukinoshita asked, her voice on the edge of hysteria. Before briefly taking command of the situation, returning gradually to its usual calm.

"I know it must be mortifying, to have Hikkigaya leer at you like that, especially with his creepy eyes, but I'm here, and I will protect you should he lose what meager control he has over his base primitive instincts." To which Yuigahama seemed to murmur something, and Yukinoshita continued, ignoring or not hearing.

 _'And back to your usual deep cutting insults, just what kind of a person do you think I am?'_

"Now let's not tempt fate too much, I think we can find something else for you to wear instead of this shirt." She then turned to the only boy in the room and glared-"You better sit in the club room and not leave it. If Hiratsuka-Sensei comes, we wen't to the bathroom and will be back soon. Now turn around!"

"Oi, I'm not that bad!" Despite having turning his head aside as soon as he got over the shock and not looking at Yuigahama, he thought turning his back to her was too much.

"Your unholy gaze says differently. You did not think to avert it until memorizing it-were you hoping to burn the view into your mind so you may finally have a female form to gaze upon without society punishing your criminal behavior? Or were you hoping to keep stealing glances, unopposed?"

"Hurry up and help Yuigahama change already." _'Please consider other people's feelings, Yukinoshita, i Know its hard for you, but Yuigahama is in awkward situation now. a friend should help first, and lash at others after.'_

The boy imagined Yukino feeling chastised, and added a point in his favor with a mental smirk, as he heard her gently coaxing Yuigahama out of the room, and outside, standing between the two at all times.

With nothing else he could do, Hachiman set in his usual place, and started reading his novel, or at least tried to, he was too worried about the unexplainable and inexplicable event that just happened.

* * *

it took longer then he thought it would. Luckily there were no requests nor teacher visits that day.

After the girls returned, though, there was awkward silence right until the end.

At which point, he delayed his return home, to ask yukinoshita in private.

"There was something I wanted to ask earlier. Do you remember about a boy from another school, Hyuudo, visiting yesterday?"

Hachiman knew that someone erasing their memories of the boy and the things he said was as unreal as the things in the light novels he enjoyed, but the day was already very strange, and with the way Hiratsuka-sensei was acting yesterday… Even his logical mind was leaning towards something as weird as the urban fantasy novel he was reading at the time. _'Am i spending too much time around Zaimokuza?'_

Yukino just glared at him, crossing her arms over her chest in what could be defensive or outrageous, but said nothing.

Hachiman decided not to try his luck.

* * *

The next day, as he walked into school, Hikkigaya recognized the Kuoh school uniform, and knew that the weirdness was not yet over.

* * *

 **Author Notes:** Sorry for the delay. the harddisk on which i usually write burned down, my backups were too out of date, and it took time to save the files from the remains. Once i did, i had trouble writing this chapter-to the point that i went to make a short rest to distract myself, and ended up writing a draft for my newest oneshot in 10 minutes (It is a Highschool DxD crossover with Tokyo Ghoul-check it out).

Now i am back. Once again thanks to my readers, to all who favorited, followed and reviewed, and special thanks to dawnwatch, my beta reader for this story. Read. Review. Enjoy.


	6. Chapter 6

"Excuse me, is this Sobu High School?"

The stranger was a handsome young man with a short blond hair, grey eyes and a mole underneath his left eye.

The polite question of the boy, clearly from another school, started to draw a crowd.

 _'This Is-This is just like Hayama number 2!'_

It was Miura-san who responded first, and her words confirmed Hikkigaya's suspicion.

"Y-Yes it is." A blush covered her cheeks.

The boy smiled charmingly at her as he politely thanked her. He had a white, perfect smile. Just like Hayama.

Hachiman already disliked the boy.

"W-What d-did you want? This is obviously not your school."

"Sorry again, but I was hoping to catch a friend of mine. Would you be so kind as to show me where class 2F is?"

The boy was suave, but Hikigaya saw right through his fake charm, just like he did with Hayama.

"O-of course, I'll show you right away. I'm Miura Yumiko, very pleased to meet you, and you are?"

"Oh, apologies for not introducing myself earlier, I am Yuuto Kiba, Please, I will be in your care." He then bowed to her, and she did the same after a moment of hesitating uncertainty.

They went towards the class, followed by other spectators, who whispered amongst themselves. As they were approaching the door to his classroom, Miura seemed to have decided she didn't like that.

"And what, are you all doing? Don't you all need to get to your own classes now?" she commanded the crowd that had begun following her and Yuuto-san. Her glare was like that of a Basilisk in those Harry potter books he heard about-he didn't really read them though, so Hikigaya didn't know. He prided himself in reading only quality manga and light novels. Were basilisks as venomous as that girl?

"And what about you?" she demanded, as she was prone to, except for matters concerning Hayama.

She glared at him more fiercely than she did at the now dispersing crowd. Did she have something personal against him?

"It is my class." He replied in a bored tone, her angry look really was scary.

Hayama was already there, as usual. He approached the Kuoh boy, and greeted him with his usual polite smile. The other pretty boy's greeting ringing just as hollow.

Some girls started to swoon, others spoke excitedly to their friends and he could have sworn that he heard someone whisper about the two boys together. He shuddered. _'Ebina isn't even here, who would-no, never mind, I don't want to know.'_

And then Hiratsuka Sensei arrived, much earlier than usual, much less before her scheduled lesson with their class. When she saw Hayama No.2, her eyes glanced to his uniform, narrowing; before asking him to follow her.

Something changed in the stance of the boy, as he followed the teacher.

Just like with Hyuudo, Hachiman didn't see him again later, and Hiratsuka-sensei was back to normal when it was her turn to teach their class.

 _'Am I in some sort of twilight zone? Will this disappearance be ignored as well? Is Hiratsuka-sensei some sort of Succubus, constantly seeking men? I thought the manga with a succubus teacher in a Japanese school went differently, or did I miss the memo about demi-humans?'_

He was proven at least partially wrong soon after, when Miura-san asked the returning teacher about Yuuto-san.

"He went back to his school." Hiratsuka sensei replied, "Now if we can get back to the lesson."

Miura-san frowned, not too pleased, but nodded and the lesson continued.

 _'So if it's an annoying pervert like Hyuudo you don't care, but if it's a handsome prettyboy like Yuuto-san you immediately notice?'_

Once again Yuigahama had a wardrobe malfunction that showed more of her chest then he should have seen, when they went to the club, after which she glanced at him as if expecting something.

"I'm sorry."

The girl sighed, and lowered her head, as if in defeat. "It's fine, Hikki."

The boy mentally berated himself for paying too much attention to the figure of his friend.

After that his quiet, boring life resumed as usual.

* * *

Once again, Hikigaya saw a kid in a uniform from another school, as he approached the Sobu High the next day.

It was a very cute white haired little girl with hazel eyes. She was holding a cupcake in one hand, munching on it, the other hand holding a small bag with the logo Hachiman recognized as belonging to the best bakery in town. One too pricy for him to make purchases at.

The girl turned to look at him, as if sensing his gaze, held the cupcake and bag closer, her face clearly portraying refusal to share. _'Is that just me, or does she look like a puppy, standing protectively over its feeding bowl?'_

As he got closer the school gate, and the girl, he overheard someone mention Kuoh again.

 _'Is that the Female uniform of such a prestigious school? It looks like something Zaimokuza would come up with! It's as if the uniform were designed by a pervert with a schoolgirl fetish! Is that how a perverted delinquent like Hyuudo got into such a high class school? By being related to the pervert that designed their uniform?'_

The girl really reminded him of Komachi, and when she was asked for her name by another girl, and with a quiet, whisper like, light voice, said 'Koneko', he felt a cuteness overload.

 _'Their names are even similar-both start with 'Ko'!'_

The girls surrounding her, apparently agreed with his thoughts, as they gushed over how cute she is. When the ball rang everyone hurried to class. Except Hachiman-he felt a brother like need to ask the girl if she was lost, if she needed help getting to her own school.

As he got closer, the girl who was looking at the school gate intently suddenly turned to look to the side, just as he heard a familiar voice.

"Are you lost, little one?"

It was Hiratsuka-Sensei, again.

The mat-adult! Adult teacher, and the little girl looked at each other intently, and Hachiman could have sworn that he overheard the girl whisper 'youkai'.

 _'I know that this teacher can be scary sometimes, but it seems a bit too much. Or do you know each other from before?'_

The two continued to look at each other intensely, until Hiratsuka-sensei turned to look at him.

"You better go to class now Hikigaya-kun, you are going to be late as it is already. I will help the lost little kitten here."

Somehow, Hachiman found himself automatically obeying her, as if some outside force was controlling his body like a marionette. Despite very much wanting to finally see an exchange between the teacher and a Kuoh student, he left.

He did overhear her words, just as he was about to enter the school building.

"Hello Neko-chan…"

* * *

Apparently he wasn't the only one, and by the end of first period a rumor started to spread-that the little girl was the daughter of Hiratsuka-sensei.

When the school ended, and it was time for club activities, they ended up discussing said rumor, when Isshiki-san came, and started asking about it.

They didn't have any other 'costumers' that day.

* * *

Hachiman already knew he would see someone in Kuoh Uniform near the school the next morning.

* * *

 **Author Notes:** Yet another chapter. and ill stop prolonging thinks-next chapter it will all start to clarify-i promise.

I am starting to run out of ideas, past few more chapters though, and now is a great time for suggestions.

Special thanks to Dawnwatch for beta reading this chapter-it would have been a lot worse if not for him.

Comment and REVIEW! reviews give me strength to write more!


	7. Chapter 7

Hachiman already knew he would see someone in Kuoh uniform near the school when he arrived the next morning, and he was correct.

It was the type of person he disliked, just like the Devil.

A beautiful young woman with a voluptuous figure that was too good to be true, and a ridiculously long black hair tied in a ponytail reaching all the way down to her legs, kept by an orange ribbon.

The Kuoh Academy girls' uniform looked particularly indecent on her voluptuous and well-developed figure, accentuating her form and drawing attention to a chest that needed no advertising.

The object of his thoughts turned, and looked directly into his eyes, as if sensing them. Then she did the scariest thing he could think of. She smiled. It was a demure smile, small and fitting an ojou-sama. It was the kind of smile he only ever got from one person.

She started walking towards him, as Hachiman overheard the other boys wondering aloud who that is and hoping that the beauty will come to them.

He kinda hoped she would go to one of the other boys, too.

"Yahallo Hikki!" a familiar voice called as Yui walked beside him.

A third set of footsteps soon fell into rhyme with theirs, as his 'Stealth Hikki' failed him-once again. This fabled skill, one of his legendary 108 skills, seemed to fail a lot recently. "You wouldn't happen to be Hikkigaya, would you?" a seductive voice asked from his side, tickling the back of his ear.

"Do you know, her, Hikki?" Yuigahama asked, wide eyed-and while Hachiman sensed the question was loaded, he had no idea why.

"Hikki? You wouldn't mind if I call you Hikki as well, would you? You can call me Akeno Onee-sama." The Kuoh girl said with a smile that butter wouldn't melt in.

"I can't call a complete stranger I don't even know their name so familiarly." He answered annoyed. Apparently she could get under his skin just as easily as the girl she kept reminding him of.

"Oh, I haven't introduced myself, have I? Akeno Onee-sama was naughty." She said in a husky and seductive tone of voice as both him and Yui blushed crimson. The innuendo was unmistakable.

"I'm Himejima Akeno, please take care of me." The self-proclaimed Onee-sama said in the same tone, and bowed. Her 'Onee-samas' bounced as she did. _'Your 'gahamas' have competition now, Yuigaham_ _a',_ Hachiman idly thought.

Hachiman turned his head to the opposite aside, away from the provocative girl, as his blush and feeling of awkwardness intensified. He was certain Himejima did it on purpose.

"What do you want. Himejima-san?" he wearily asked.

The girl theatrically sighed in disappointment. "Is there anywhere we can talk in private, Hikkigaya-san?" she asked, the seductive playfulness leaving her voice.

Knowing better then to refuse-such approach proved useless against the other Devil, why would it work on this one, after all- he nodded, and changed course towards where he knew would be an empty classroom.

As they entered, Yui after them, having followed, Himejima-san looked around the classroom and turned to him. "Did you want to get me into an empty classroom so much, Hikkigaya-kun? How forward of you, leading poor little me into a dark room-should I fear for my chastity?" As if Yuigahama wasn't in the room with them.

"While I would suggest to always be on guard around Hikki-pervert, it appears just this once, he is not at fault, at least not entirely." Yukinoshita said, peaking from around the door. _'What do you mean always be on guard? Just what kind of person do you think I am? And just this once? That's with that lack of confidence?'_

"And you would be?" Himejima-san asked, stepping into dangerous territory.

Yukinoshita-san entered, and after closing the door behind her, "To not give undue gossip to the school", bowed politely before the stranger. "Yukinoshita Yukino. I saw a strange girl wearing the prestigious Kuoh Academy uniform following a Hikkigaya-kun, and couldn't help but worry. After all it would be bad if someone were to do something…regrettable…" both raven haired girls looked at each other for a prolonged moment, akin to rival wolves taking stock of one another.

Hachiman knew something had passed between them, but couldn't guess what.

"I'm Himejima Akeno." The girl bowed, and then folded her arms… right beneath her bossom. Which drew attention to her 'Himejimas' that were now in the face of the other girl.

 _'Don't worry, Yukinoshita, I'm sure that if you drink a lot of milk, yours will grow to be just as big. No, wait that's a lie. To get that big you would need surgical_ _help.'_

A glance at Yui nearby revealed her hands near her chest, glancing at her 'gahamas' and then at the 'Himejimas', and back again. It looked like she was phantom cupping them, as if trying to figure out how big Akeno-Hachiman shook his head, cutting that train of thought before it could reach its inevitable train wreck.

 _'Gahamas, Himejimas, Yukinoshitas… I'm thinking of Oppai too much, lately… It's all that punk, Hyuudo's fault!'_ He grimaced.

"I've come because of my cute little kohei, Hyuudo-kun. Do you remember meeting him, Hikkigaya-kun?"

 _'So it really is that punk's fault!'_

"Kun? Isn't it a bit too forward, Himejima-SAN? After all this is your first time meeting with Hikkigaya-kun"

"Oh… nothing to worry about it, after all, it's just between us here, and I'm sure he won't mind. Why, we would be even closer, for what I had in mind." Akeno-onee… No, Himejima-san, reached for the tie of her uniform, and began removing it. "You can even stay and watch! You too." The Kuoh girl said to the two female members of 'service club', both of which reddened as tomatoes. Hikkigaya was certain it was even more teasing and, just like when Haruno-san, teased someone, he saw the sadistic glee and selfish pleasure here.

"Just what do you really want, you devil?" he asked. It may have been rude, but direct approach might be best here. And the other girl he called such, Yukinoshita Haruno, would sometimes actually come out and say plainly what's on her mind.

However this girl surprised him, blinking in shock at his words.

"How did you know?"

All three Sobu high students blinked at that.

The girl was serious.

Then the door opened again.

"So this is where you were skipping class?" Hiratsuka-Sensei declared, entering the decreasingly empty classroom. "Come on, brats, your school day just started. Besides I shouldn't let you go on trysts at your age, especially at school." Hachiman felt his blush intensify. And then she turned towards Himejima-san, and her expression turned Stricken. And guilty.

"The Himejima girl, here? What do you think you are doing? You are the last person they should have sent!"

Hikkigaya blinked at the strange phrase.

"Sensei?" It was Yui that interrupted their teacher first, unable to stay silent in front of the strange scene that was developing before them.

Hiratsuka-sensei behaved as if she just now remembered that it wasn't just her and the other girl, but that they also had an audience of three Sobu students here.

And into this moment of confusion Himejima regained her wits, and went on the offensive.

"I am here on behalf of Rias Gremory, and the house of Gremory, with permission from Yasaka-sama.

Suddenly, something about Hiratsuka-sensei… changed.

At first it was as if a wind blew indoors, then a pair of fluffy black fox ears popped from her head, and multiple bushy tails swished rapidly behind her lab coat.

Hikkigaya felt disbelief at the impossible sight, even as a pressure held his body, as if in sight of a great predator that was gazing at him intently.

* * *

 **Author Notes:** It took too long, but, finally, I updated this fic! I hope this chapter proves interesting. it was hard to write-I knew what i wanted to happen here, in general lines, but had no idea how to go about it.

Thanks to Dawnwatch for beta reading this chapter-it would not have been as good without his help.

Favorite, follow and review it, please.


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